


5 pick-up lines Hikaru used on JUMP + 1 time the line actually worked

by alchemicink



Series: 5 Times... [4]
Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2018-01-11 18:37:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1176504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alchemicink/pseuds/alchemicink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And what was the real lesson? Never lose a bet to Yabu.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 pick-up lines Hikaru used on JUMP + 1 time the line actually worked

**Author's Note:**

> There's a tiny tiny tiny bit of YabuHika at the end. If you squint.
> 
> Disclaimer: This story is not meant to be an accurate representation of the people involved. It's just for fun!

**1st pick-up line:**  
“I don’t want to do it,” Hikaru complained.  
  
Yabu crossed his arms and gave his best friend a stern look. “Too bad,” he said. “You lost the bet and this is your punishment.”  
  
Hikaru sighed. He resolved to never let Yabu decide the terms of a bet ever again. He definitely wasn’t looking forward to this. Since he lost, he had to use pick up lines on the first five JUMP members he saw. He had no idea how they would react but he figured it wouldn’t be good.  
  
“You can start with Chinen,” Yabu said. He pointed to the youngest of the group who was reading a book in a chair by the window.  
  
Gathering up his courage, Hikaru strode over to Chinen with as much confidence as he could muster. When he got there, he squatted down so he could be at eye level with Chinen. He cleared his throat to grab Chinen’s attention.  
  
Chinen lowered the book he was reading and tilted his head to the side, curious about why he was being interrupted.  
  
“So… uh… do you have a map?” Hikaru began. He hesitated like he wasn’t going to continue, but then he caught sight of Yabu staring intently at him in the mirror.  
  
“Huh?” Chinen said.  
  
“Because I’m getting lost in your eyes.” Hikaru tried to grin but it came out with a more pained expression.  
  
Chinen rolled his eyes and whacked Hikaru on the head with his book. “You’re a weirdo,” he said. 

 

**2nd pick-up line:**  
Daiki was the next person Hikaru happened to run into, so he figured he should get the next pick up line out of the way as quickly as possible. Looking to be in a good mood, Daiki was walking down the hall but stopped when Hikaru stepped right in front of him.  
  
Without waiting for Daiki to say anything Hikaru just blurted it out. “Fun fact: Your body is 65% water… and I’m thirsty.”  
  
“I don’t see how that’s a fun fact,” Daiki answered. “That’s just creepy. Also there’s a water fountain over there.” He pointed in the right direction.  
  
Hikaru face-palmed in shame. 

 

**3rd pick-up line:**  
Hikaru happened to run into Yuto in the restroom. Yuto was intently focused on washing his hands while humming happily to himself. Hikaru briefly considered not saying anything to Yuto because Yabu wasn’t around to enforce the rules of the bet. But then he remembered that time Yabu found out about Yamada eating his entire strawberry pocky stash. They never quite figured out how Yabu learned of the incident, but his wrath was scary. Nobody saw Yamada for a whole week after that.  
  
So Hikaru walked up to Yuto and said his pick-up line, nevermind that the restroom was a terrible place for that sort of thing.  
  
“I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.”  
  
Yuto looked contemplative for a second and then put his hands up to form a frame. He squinted in the mirror as his hands made a box, like he was looking in an imaginary camera.  
  
“Yeah, with the right angle, it’d be a nice photograph,” Yuto answered cheerfully.  
  
Yuto’s obliviousness was worse than Daiki’s reaction.

 

**4th pick-up line:**  
Inoo happened to be getting a drink from the vending machine when Hikaru was walking by. Hikaru sighed and turned back around to say his pick-up line to Inoo.  
  
“Your legs must be tired,” he began.  
  
Inoo gave him a _what-the-heck_ look in response and slowly removed his drink from the machine without breaking eye contact with Hikaru. He was acting like he didn’t want to scare a small animal away.  
  
“Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.” Hikaru laughed so maybe it would be less awkward.  
  
It wasn’t.  
  
“I’m just going to walk away and pretend you didn’t say that,” Inoo said, backing away slowly.  
  
Hikaru banged his head against the vending machine, cursing Yabu’s bet at the same time.

 

**5th pick-up line:**  
“Hey Yamada,” Hikaru began. He’d run into Yamada back in the break room. Hikaru had really hoped no one was in there. But Yamada had apparently chosen the room for some impromptu dance practice. (Although Hikaru wasn’t sure how effective practice would be with everyone’s clothes and bags lying in the floor. He kept tripping over them.)  
  
“I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.”  
  
“…are you hitting on me?” Yamada asked, paused mid-pose in his dance routine.  
  
“I lost a bet to Yabu,” Hikaru explained quicky and then ran from the room.

 

**+1 pick-up line:**  
“Challenge complete,” Hikaru announced to Yabu as soon as they crossed paths again. “I said some lame cheesy pickup lines to five different JUMP members.”  
  
Yabu patted him on the shoulder. “I’m proud of you.”  
  
“So now let’s get some actual work done,” Hikaru suggested.  
  
“How about one last pickup line for me?” Yabu asked.  
  
“That wasn’t part of the bet.”  
  
“Need I remind you of the time you set my dad’s newspapers on fire? You still owe me.”  
  
Hikaru paled at the remembrance. “Wait, let me think of a good one.” After a moment he spoke again. “Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.” He pointed to himself for good measure.  
  
Yabu burst out laughing. “Perfect,” he said. “That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. You are definitely boyfriend material. Pick me up at 8.” He winked at Hikaru for good measure and then skipped away down the hallway.  
  
Hikaru wasn’t sure whether that meant he was supposed to take Yabu out on a date later or not.


End file.
